K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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