Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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