Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
