I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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