; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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