I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
