This is not my ceiling
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
