I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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