you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
