I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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