I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
