I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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