You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
