are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
