There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
