so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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