i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This house was built for laser tag.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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