i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
