remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
