I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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