the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We need to get me chipped asap
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
