So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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