Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
