ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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