i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
