you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
