just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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