Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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