Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize