He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
