addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
