its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
