I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
