Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wish there were birth control emojis
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
