you win again, gameday.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
