He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
