Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
