Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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