Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
