He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
