so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
