Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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