did you get engaged???
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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