Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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