If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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