If i come over, it means nothing
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
