bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
