so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
