if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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