Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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