dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
