yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
