I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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