I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
